SDF Review: Lair (PS3)
Forget the negative reviews you’ve been reading about Lair, this game is the real deal. Let me paint a picture for you, if I may be so bold… Picture controlling a dragon with the SIXAXIS motion controls along a beautiful backdrop fighting hundreds, no thousands of other enemies, pulling off combos (called Carnage), breathing fire on soldiers all while being taken through a very fleshed out, epic storyline and you have Factor 5’s best game yet: Lair. Let me also state that this game is not possible on any other system out right now as it makes full use of the Blu-ray player and the physics beast that is CELL. Free online leaderboards and the promise of Home compatibility round out this amazing package.
Lair is one of those odd games that comes out of nowhere and completely surprises you. It’s one of those rare gems that people will not appreciate at first, but grow to love over time. Make no mistake, Lair could very well be this generation’s “Mario 64″. With greater use of motion control than any Wii game and better graphics than any 360 game I think it’s safe to say we have a candidate for game of the year right here.
SDF Score: 10/10
http://gamerankings.com/itemrankings/singleitem.asp?itemid=929230&sort=3
too, too funny – please, please don’t stop.
However, I’m now officially worried – what if youse guys actually get listed on gamerankings or metacritic with one of your “reviews”?
I mean, you realize that will mean you have officially “jumped the shark”, right?
I believe this game was first called Panzer Dragoon. Then it was reinvisioned for the Ps2 as something called Drakengard, which i can assure you, is hundreds of times more worth the purchase than lair.
It’s such a piece of shit game. I wish I didn’t buy it. Fuckin trade in was only like 25 bucks.
Comedy blogs usually have an overt sense of wit and irony to them, and I see none of those things here at SDF, so I can only conclude that these delusional reviews and reports are genuine and that any humour is unintentional.
“As it makes full use of the Blu-ray player” There we go, he admitted it, to make full use of the Blu-ray player you just need to make a crappy ass game like Lair and fill the disc up to about 40% which you could have fitted on a dual layer DVD if you knew how, and the system could manage, to compress and decompress data.
Oh and the “Free online leader boards” really crank me up, I mean that is of the KEY features in your so called review? Hell, what games does NOT have leader boards today?
Not to talk about “Promise of Home compatibility”, wtf? First of the thing isn’t out yet. Sure it seems a bit fun and I will for sure try it out but what does Home do that will make you come back to this game and go like “omg this game got even better now”? The only thing Home will do is rip off Achievements from the 360 with a 3D object called Trophies, in a game point of view.
“Lair is one of those odd games that comes out of nowhere and completely surprises you.” Yeah, I know what you mean, it’s the same thing when I go and do #2 on the bathroom.
Gotta stop writing now, need to go take a sh*t. But keep it coming SDF, we love to hate you! … No, seriously, we do.
Oh, this is classic.
I bet you could save a lot of time if you only posted reviews of PS3 games you gave LESS than 10/10. So, you would cut your reviews down to… None.
Been waiting a long time for this, its funny as hell.
By “greater use” you mean “piss poor use”, right?
OMFG, it has FREE online leaderboards, that will add about three seconds to the experience.
by the way, morgan Webb mentioned on Aots that x-play is giving it a 2/5. I believe the only reason it didnt get a 1/5 is because you can play it all that way through.
This generations mario 64? More like this generation’s Superman 64.
hahaha – just noticed the post’s author is named “OnionB” – “onion” – co-ink-ee-dink? I think NOT.
Nice, nice touch.
Played it. Hated it. It sucks.
Clunky, awful controls, graphics are boring as hell, theres not a single challenging bit of AI in the game, the plot’s laughable and the fact it fills a Blu-ray disc leaves me in wonder.
I guess its just a case of spreading a piece of shit across a large surface.
Fail.
Can the magic of the SDF efface video evidence of Lair’s terrible quality? Let’s find out!
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/24532.html
Oh, I have been waiting for this review….. First of all…. “This generations Mario 64″ WTF? This has to be a joke. If this is a joke or a hoax website, your sarcasm is not coming across well. If this is a serious review, then you should really seek help. Everyone and their mother was disapointed by this game… And it didnt “come out of nowhere”… This game was hyped up so much by Sony, and now critics everywhere are bashing it. Except for you. Apparently it’s the next revolution in gaming. Why is that by the way? Because the sixaxis controls are clunky and dont respond well or because the games pacing rivals that of a womens golf tournament? I keep coming back to this site because its pretty funny to see how diluted you Sony Fanboys are, but now this is just pathetic.
“Picture controlling a dragon with the SIXAXIS motion controls”
And already I hate it.
so every reputable gaming organization gives this game average to low scores and yet you give it a 10/10
it must be teh bestest game evar
lolzorofl
face it, the ps3 is not delivering the killer games that it needs while xbox and wii have many great games and many more are still being produced
Paper Mrio, Halo 3, SSBB, mario galaxy, mass effect, etc.
stop trying to diss the other consoles which are doing better than the ps3 and accept that its not lived up to peoples expectations
I had doubts, but now it’s official: this site is officially a joke, a parody of a Sony fanboy.
@FishFuse
Now that’s how a review should look!
I predict PS3 dead by 2009. Lair is a shocker despite being hyped to hell and beyond. I’ll give the PS3 the benefit of the doubt but if Christmas 2008 (not 2007, the lineup is already confirmed) to seriously come up trumps then the PS3 is dead and Sony will have to go back to plan B.
What will you fanboys say then?
So this and Warhawk get 10/10’s and BioShock gets a 5/10… I can’t wait to see Halo 3’s review. Hell why don’t you get one up on Gears of War.
Game that was a stunning piece of crap award goes to……..LAIR.
GOTY for Lair is a f-ing joke; but then again this site is a f-ing joke.
Ok i buy the game and i have to say it plays better on the psp the game graphics are good and the 7.1 sourrond sound is like nothing else but its true the controler not good but its selling like crasy its on the best seller games so far if Factor 5 put and update we would have game of the year
You know, I think this site is neither blatant fanboyism nor parody. I think it’s actually just trying to provoke everyone. In fact, I don’t think its trying to hype or dis the PS3 at all. Has anyone seen that Chad Warden video on Youtube? I think this website is along the same lines as that: pure provocation, period.
Well, that’s my analysis. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP, SDF. SIXAXIS MOTION SENSING SUUUUCCCKKKKSSSS, AND YOU DAMN WELL BETTER GET THE HELL USED TO IT, CAUSE IT ALWAYS WILL.
@PS3Up
so you need a psp to play the game as well as a ps3? Too funny. You all know you cant play through the entire game with the psp, some of the controls are missing.
at least with the 360 you can play games with the hardware it was designed for.
this website is so funny!!!
i bet it was made by a 360 fanboy trying to make fun of PS3 fanboys…
keep on the sarcasm!!
this site is amazingly funny, even though you don’t mean to be.
Lair could very well be this generation’s “Mario 64″
I lol’d at this. Lair is a steaming pile of dogshit and couldn’t even touch Mario 64.
Everyone and SDF, you all seriously need to check this out:
‘Sony sends out ‘Lair Reviewer’s Guide.’
http://www.joystiq.com/2007/09/07/sony-sends-out-lair-reviewers-guide-must-not-laugh/
“Dear seasoned reviewers, like Greg Miller of IGN (pictured and who’s work back at the Columbia Tribune we covered), you’re reviewing Lair wrong — according to Sony. Miller, and probably many other reviewers, received their copies today of the “Lair Reviewer’s Guide” so that they might go back and say, “Yes Sony, we totally don’t know how to play video games, thank you! Thank you so much for showing us the light on how to play these … things. We will now go back and redo our scores with the wealth of information we have been given.”
BOO this site sucks. the only reason i signed up is to bash this shitty PS3 site.
the ps3 should be ashamed of its followers. not the people that post in here but the creators of this site. it sucks donkey balls. i hope every sony product in the world explodes and kills their owners.
@Fatmen
No you can play all the game on your psp
W H A T A S O N Y F A N B O Y ! ! !
I wonder if this guy isn’t secretly on the payroll. Anyway, SDF, the same inane peeps who gave Bioshock a 5/10 come back with a vengeance and give Lair a 10/10.
I think I begin to see a pattern here. They give the exact OPPOSITE scores the generally respected media give to game reviews.
You guys are total pagehit whores… and that’s putting it nicely.
firstly its an A and not an E.
secondly, no you cannot, I know for certain that the intro part where you learn the controls is not doable, I suspect there are points where it happens.
So I guess you have a choice between either sucky motion controls or missing controls
[...] a problem. Then this game has some of the most rabid fanboys I’ve ever seen who spew bullshit like this (really hope that site is fake). If Factor 5 just came out and admitted they were too ambitious and [...]
LOL i`m laughing at this review lol sony fanboys can`t you do better than that better buy a xbox360 LOL sixaxis! LOL 10 out of 10… think not 4 out of 10 is right. you sony fan boys lie (SDF)
Are you fucking kidding me? The next Mario 64? Don’t even mention Mario you fuck tard! Mario 64 is clearly made by a different company, and you haven’t even told us anything truthfully positive about this pile of shit! You vaguely identified some things that seem appealing. what about game play? you mention SIX AXIS controlling? Six Axis is an utter failure! I have read the reviews and yes even endured this game. It sucks, it sucks so much I almost puked, I hope you burn in hell for even making a site this bogus and biased. Notice how the developers never admit to making a crappy game, the people who mad Crackdown for 360 admitted they didn’t think it would be good! Yet all PS3 game developers think all their games will be godly because of blu-ray! Fuck you, and fuck every admin or PS3 fan boy who thinks like this faggit
I am willing to bet my 360 and 360 library that this game will not even be considered for game of the year, unless only Sony fanboys vote for game of the year.
Sony sending out a “how to review Lair guide” is not only a slap in the face of reviewers but also gamers in general.
I think it is unfair for people to say that the SDF Bioshock review was the worst and most biased of all time. This is.
wtf, this generation’s Mario64? Why are you comparing the greatness of Lair to the dog crap that was Mario64? That camera was a total steaming pile, the graphics were horrible, and Mario sounded like a turd. And I’m being NICE about it right now.
Mario64 WISHES it could be as awesome as Lair. Lair is nothing like anything in the previous generations. It goes beyond all of that.
“Comedy blogs usually have an overt sense of wit and irony to them”
If you think irony has to be overt, you don’t get irony. The reaction of folks like you who take it all at face value is part of the fun. Congratulations! You are part of the joke!
lolz.
i think these (in order of awesomeness)
sum lair up.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/09/03
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/05/18
A broken game that automatically gets a 10 because it’s a on the PS3.
Really, the reviews on this site are as unbiased as a 1980s issue of Pravda (the official Soviet Newspaper, for you uneducated fanboys).
The creator of this site either has the driest sense of humor on record or is a jabbering mental patient. While I hope it’s the former, I suspect that it is unfortunately the latter. In which case he is executing the primary Sony fanboy strategy: $#!T on everything else. The reason rabid Sony fanboys do this is because they are unable to come to grips with the fact that they have laid down several hundred dollars for a product that has so far failed to live up to their investment.
Since the systems release it has failed to produce even one game that makes someone say: “I HAVE got to BUY THAT GAME!” As a result the ps3 has been showing lackluster sales across the board with the notable exception of Japan (where the Wii is crushing it but it is beating the 360).
Among the big 3 consoles I feel the Wii and 360 will both “win” in this generation but under different markets. The Wii is going to capture a lot of new ground by bringing in the “non-gamer gamer” and 360 is going to the “hardcore” market with higher quality titles than the ps3 (rather ironic as this was the defacto Sony fanboy argument of the “superiority” of the ps2 over the original Xbox.)
The long-term good news is that the PS4 is going to be one hell of a system because they know they f-ed up this time around. But I expect the neXtbox and the Nextendo to be equally impressive systems as the competition has gotten much more intense.
Now for full disclosure I own both the 360 and Wii, and enjoy both systems immensely. I have not purchased a PS3 because I’ve seen nothing that would make me think it would be worth the $500 dollar investment.
dude LAIR SUCKED!
I bet this game would have gotten a 12/10 if it had rumble.
but really sony’s use of nintendo’s technology is spot on
THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKED. LIKE YOU GUYS
EVERY ONE PISS YOUR PANTS HERE COMES… SIX AXIS MOTION. im sure controlling a dragon with a controller is fun, if it worked.
wow omg this game sucks so hard, how could u give bioshock a 5/10 and u give this shity game a 10/10, u sony fans are the most biased assholes on this planet. like i beg people to read real reviews on like ign or gamespot than this biased website
You don’t even control the dragon in this game you wave your controller in the air for 30 minutes trying to make it move to the mountain and than in frustration you throw your controller at your PS3 and it breaks.
Kinda funny that the Burgerking games that you get for free got a higher score than this
OK I HEARD THE GAME WAS FUN BUT GREAT CONTROLS THAT GAME HAD REALLY BAD CONTROLLS
Lair could very well be this generation’s “Mario 64″
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
You guys are clever. Seriously though, Lair is a piece of shit. Seriously.
You guys are amazing, avoiding all those good games. Close call, huh? We almost had some fun. Or were mildly impressed. Luckily, we didn’t and we weren’t.
It’s also a good thing I didn’t read all those unbiased reviews. Or those reviews that weren’t completely biased. I read this one instead.